


i need u (to be my ancient history)

by Jakaynne



Series: 2jae angst fics [3]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alcohol, Ancient History- Set If Off, Angst, Based on a song, Falling In Love, First Attempt at writing make outs, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Kissing, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 04:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13826160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakaynne/pseuds/Jakaynne
Summary: I know, I know how to drive you wildYou know, you know how to make me smileBut I need you to be my ancient historyJaebum knew that this wasn't going to last forever. It wasn't allowed. It will end, sooner or later.





	i need u (to be my ancient history)

**Author's Note:**

> [ Ancient History- Set It Off](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYjIp9KRCzI)

Jaebum knows he should pull back. Put a stop to this before there was no turning back. Prevent the inevitable future storm. Don’t try to pretend everything might be alright when they both know it’s wrong. At the end of this, they both will be hurt. Why start something when it when just end in devastation? 

 

Jaebum couldn’t deny the chemistry between them. Those moments when they lock eyes and it everything else disappears and it’s just them. The longing stares at fan signs. The fleetingly but meaningful touches. Constantly reminding themselves not to give in because people were constantly watching. Pretending to not be affected when the other has to do fanservice with another member. Pretend they’re not hurting. 

 

Maybe that’s why Jaebum doesn’t pull back. He’s _tired_ of hurting. So when the other members are gone and it’s just Jaebum and Youngjae, he doesn’t have to worry about someone watching. He doesn't have to worry about someone seeing how he shamelessly stares at the younger. Youngjae has been biting his pretty pouty lips to keep himself from laughing at whatever they were watching. Jaebum hasn’t watched any of it. He’s been too distracted wanting to tug that plump bottom lip from between his teeth and into his own mouth. And when Youngjae turns to him, probably to ask Jaebum something, they lock eyes and are launched in their own world. 

 

Jaebum leans closer, eyes locked on those beautiful chocolate eyes. Youngjae is biting his lip again so Jaebum runs his thumb over it, tugging slightly, and frees it from the abuse. Youngjae breathes Jaebum’s name longingly. And Jaebum is gone. 

 

He cups Youngjae’s cheek and draws the younger boy closer until he’s softly pressing his lips to Youngjae’s. A part of Jaebum warns that this will end badly, and reminds that this can have serious consequences. The other part sighs in bliss, finally. Jaebum’s body agrees wholeheartedly as he presses closer and deepens the kiss. The noises Youngjae makes as Jaebum licks his way into his mouth pushes any second thoughts to the back of Jaebum’s mind.

* * *

It comes back to him a couple of days later. It’s the middle of the night and Jaebum can’t sleep. He knows he should be asleep, they have a fan meeting in the morning. But Jaebum can’t shake off the thoughts of a certain boy with a beauty mark under his eye. 

 

They haven’t talked about the kiss(es). After the impromptu make-out session, they cuddled on the catch until they heard familiar voices arriving home. They reluctantly pulled away and sat on the opposite sides of the couch. Even though they all were used to having skinship, and they knew their fellow members wouldn’t bat an eye at them cuddling on the couch, they felt awkward. They had just lost control and indulge something they obviously knew wasn’t allowed. 

 

So they pretended it never happened. These last couple of days have been filled with awkward eye contact that they constantly broke while avoiding touching at all. The longing was still there. They could see it reflected in each other's eyes. 

 

Jaebum groans and sits up, grabbing his shirt. Maybe a glass of water will help him fall asleep. He quietly steps out of his room and makes his way to the kitchen. He is startled when he sees someone rummaging through the fridge. Recognizing the familiar backside (Jaebum stared at too much) he wonders if he should just go back to his room. Youngjae turns before Jaebum can make a move. 

 

Jaebum winces as Youngjae screams in surprise and grins in spite of himself when Youngjae glares at him. 

 

“You think that’s funny, sneaking up on me and giving me a heart attack?” Youngjae hisses, his hand running through his raven hair to calm down. Jaebum grabs his hand, stilling the movement before he can even think about it. Youngjae quiets and stares at their hands. When he looks up, Jaebum is already closing the distance between them. 

 

Youngjae’s hands fists in Jaebum’s shirt as the younger yanks him closer and Jaebum has to brace his hand on to the counter behind Youngjae to steady himself. Jaebum head spins as they push and pull trying to get as close as possible. At the back of his mind, he knows that anyone could walk in on them. But Jaebum leaves all caution to the wind as he drowns in Youngjae.

* * *

Jaebum should have expected this. It wasn't really a surprise but it still caught him off guard.

 

They all just finished dance practice because it was always good to brush up on old moves especially when they did random dance challenges for the fans. Like always by the end, they all were tired and sweaty and the maknaes (and Jackson) always started to goof off. 

 

Jackson declares a freestyle dance-off. It was Bambam and Yugyeom vs. Jackson and Youngjae. Bambam decided to pick the song and fucking hell. 

 

Jaebum groans as Lu blasts over the speakers. Jinyoung glances over at his expression and snickers. It wasn’t like Jaebum didn’t like the song per say. But it was the song that Bambam (and Jinyoung for some reason) has been obsessed with recently. The four boys immediately start to thrust their hips to beat, each other trying to look sexier than the other. 

 

Even though Youngjae wasn’t as good at dancing as the other three, Jaebum couldn’t deny that he looks hot moving his hips like that. Jaebum has always admired Youngjae’s body; he wasn’t too skinny but instead, he had muscle and a little roundness on his hips. Perfect for Jaebum to grasp on to. 

 

Jaebum has to look away from Youngjae’s body rolls before his body reacts embarrassingly. Jinyoung catches his eyes and smirks. Jaebum was pretty sure Jinyoung knew how Jaebum felt about Youngjae. He was surprised Jinyoung hasn’t confronted him and lecture him how such relationships would never work. Jaebum shouldn’t be so happy that Jinyoung hasn’t said anything about it, he just keeps giving Jaebum knowing looks and teasing smirks. 

 

A loud laugh draws Jaebum from his thoughts and his eyes automatically find Youngjae. The younger boy throws his head back and laughs again, his mouth wide open. Taking a quick survey, it seemed like the dance off has turned more into a twerk off. And Jinyoung has joined in. 

 

But Jaebum’s focus was on Youngjae. The sunshine boy with bright eyes and an even brighter laugh. He was sweaty and his cheeks were flushed red. His eyes automatically close as he laughs and Jaebum is pretty sure his heart stops. For a moment everything freezes and Jaebum is struck with a single thought. 

 

_I’m in love with him._

 

And then everything is set in motion again. Jinyoung and Jackson are furiously trying to see who can out twerk the other. Yugyeom and Bambam are in their own little world, dabbing and doing the naenae. Mark sits on the floor and watches it all with a soft smile. 

 

And Youngjae. 

 

He is the sun and his hands are covering his mouth as he tries to contain his giggles. He can’t though and he collapses literally on the floor, rolling as he laughs and he’s beautiful. Jaebum loves this beautiful sweet boy. And then Youngjae is looking at Jaebum with tears at the corners of his eyes and Jaebum simply grins at him. It takes every ounce of restraint in Jaebum to not declare his revelation out loud.

* * *

They never speak about their relationship out loud. They just continue to sneak in short, but lovingly, touches when they believed no one was looking. They keep staring at each other from across the room but never allowing to stare for long in case someone was watching. Late nights were filled with rushed kisses and the ever fear of getting caught. 

 

Jaebum can feel the storm advancing more than ever. Through these fleeting moments, he knows that sooner or later it will end. They would either get caught and put all of Got7 at risked or they would need to end it themselves. 

 

Jaebum wasn’t sure which one was worst. 

 

Laying here, Youngjae’s hand clutching his waist as he peacefully slept, Jaebum feels torn. He is content like this. He is happy like this. He has his singing career going very well and he loves all their Ahgasaes. He also loves the boy that was currently drooling on his pillow. He wants to have both. And not hide what he has with Youngjae. Youngjae deserves to be taken out on dates in public, having someone show the world how much they love him. Jaebum couldn’t give that to Youngjae. 

 

Maybe in another world much different from this one they wouldn’t have to hide. They could go out on dates and Jaebum would take Youngjae to the amusement park. He’ll win Youngjae a plush toy and then Youngjae would win him one too. Or they will do simple things like go on walks through the park (Coco can come of course.) Jaebum would kiss him in front of everyone without any worries. Mark and Jackson and Jinyoung would coo over the cuteness of it while the maknaes will whine and complain about PDA. 

 

And Youngjae. Youngjae would turn that adorable shade of pink that spread to all his face and neck. Youngjae would mutter something before standing up on his tiptoes and give Jaebum a deep kiss in return. Then it would be Jaebum’s turn to duck his head to keep everyone from seeing his flushed cheeks (they would see it anyway.) 

 

Jaebum eyes fall shut and he dreams of a small but public wedding with all their friends and family.

* * *

_"Hello?"_

 

“Youngjae. I miss you Youngjae,” Jaebum whines into the phone. 

 

_"Jaebum-hyung? Are you alright?"_

 

"I miss you sunshine,” he hiccups and he hears Youngjae sigh. 

 

_"Are you drunk, hyung?"_

 

Jaebum squints as he tries to recall how many drinks he’s had. Three? Four? He can’t remember and he frankly doesn’t care. He just wants Youngjae. 

 

“Youngjae,” he whines dragging out his name, “Where are you?” 

 

_"Tell me where you are, hyung."_

 

Jaebum looks around. 

 

“A bar, I think,” he answers. 

 

_"Which bar?"_

 

Jaebum squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to think of what bar he had stumbled upon. 

 

“The one by that old pet shop place they tore down?” 

 

Youngjae is quiet for a moment, probably looking it up on his phone. 

 

_"Jesus, why are you already over there? Did you take the bus?"_

 

Jaebum believes he did take the bus but Youngjae doesn’t wait for an answer. 

 

_"I’m on my way. Stay-"_

 

Jaebum stares at his now dead phone. _Useless piece of shit._ He doesn’t panic though because Youngjae is coming for him. He could always depend on Youngjae. His Youngjae. The one who he was the happiest with. The one he will finally end things tomorrow. 

 

Being reminded of his decision makes Jaebum reach for his glass again and he tips the whole thing back, not wasting a single drop. He knew drinking wasn’t going to make this hurricane disappear but he pretended like he didn’t know that. He always pretended he didn’t know where this all would eventually lead to. 

 

When Youngjae arrives, Jaebum immediately regrets calling the younger. He didn’t want him to see him like this. A huge fucking mess. Youngjae takes Jaebum's hand and Jaebum blacks out. 

 

When he comes to, he notices they are at a small hotel. 

 

“You can’t go back home like this. Jinyoung would kill you,” Youngjae answers before Jaebum even gets to open his mouth. Jaebum nods and they go inside. They’re wearing hats and facemasks and Jaebum is thankful they don’t seem to be recognized. 

 

In the room, Youngjae makes Jaebum shower and constantly checks on him to make sure he hasn’t passed out. Jaebum is forced to drink a whole bottle of water and his head feels a little clearer. Exactly what Jaebum was trying to avoid. 

 

Youngjae had pack Jaebum’s shorts and t-shirt and Jaebum wonders what did he do to get someone like Youngjae and what he did to have to lose him. 

 

Youngjae takes his shower and leaves Jaebum to his thoughts. 

 

This would be the last time Jaebum will allow himself to be in a situation like this with Youngjae. Alone and free to do what they want. Come tomorrow, everything they shared together in these last months will end. No more kisses, no more flirty text messages, no more late nights talking, making out, or just spending time side by side, hands intertwined. Never admitting how much Jaebum loved and cared for Youngjae. This is the last time they will be in each others presence like this. 

 

So when Youngjae finishes his shower and grabs his clothes, Jaebum kisses him. Youngjae is startled at first but quickly relaxes into the kiss. They kiss slowly at first but Jaebum feels like time is running out so he yanks Youngjae closer while licking at the seam of his lips. Youngjae gasps and Jaebum takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Youngjae responds eagerly, arms winding around Jaebum’s neck. 

 

Youngjae backs them up until the bed presses into the back of Jaebum’s legs and falls backward, Youngjae quick to follow him. Jaebum sits up and Youngjae straddles him as they continued to kiss hungrily. Jaebum lets Youngjae take control of the kiss and Youngjae does so enthusiastically. They continue to kiss as Jaebum squeezes Youngjae’s thighs. He could write a song about Youngjae’s thighs alone. 

 

Youngjae moans in the kiss and Jaebum flips them over so now he is hovering over Youngjae. Youngjae stares at up at him, eyelids half-lidded in lust, plump lips now red and his cheeks are flushed. Gorgeous. 

 

Youngjae turns even redder so Jaebum concludes he must have said it out loud. Youngjae is tugging Jaebum’s head down and they kiss before Jaebum is turning his attention to Youngjae’s neck. He presses wet kisses into the flesh. Youngjae moans when Jaebum pulls at the skin below his collarbone and leaves a mark. They were always careful to never leave marks even where nobody could see them but Jaebum is feeling a little reckless. They had only right now. 

 

Youngjae must have sensed how urgent Jaebum was feeling because he slightly arches off the bed and rubs his hips against Jaebum’s. Jaebum gives a low moan and they both speed up at the same time. 

 

Jaebum loves Youngjae. He wants to be selfish and give all his love to this beautiful man. But there was a small part of Jaebum that felt guilty, knowing that he will be leaving. Jaebum believes that Youngjae deserves better than that. He should be with someone that can love him all the way and not have to hide it. But Jaebum is only human and so he gives in to his selfish desire and focuses on pleasuring the boy he loves.

* * *

Jaebum hands the cab driver the money and stares out the window. It was slightly foggy, the day still waking up. There weren’t a lot of traffic and Jaebum rides feeling numb. Even though he’s staring out the window, his brain isn’t registering anything. So out of tune with his surroundings, he startles when the driver nudges his shoulder. Jaebum bows his head quickly in thanks. 

 

Jaebum enters the house quietly, careful not to wake up anyone. The last thing he needed right now was a confrontation. 

 

When he finally makes it to his room, he closes the door and sets his bag down. He calmly walks to his bathroom and makes a note to thank Jinyoung again for letting him have the master room with its own bathroom. He turns on the shower, the steam already stinging at Jaebum’s eyes. Or at least that’s what Jaebum told himself. He quickly undresses and steps into the hot shower, not bothering to stay standing and slides down to the tile floor. 

 

He closes his eyes and unwillingly remembers as after they both had finished from their high and they cuddled together on the bed, Youngjae whispering three words that stabbed at Jaebum’s heart. Jaebum pretended he had already fallen asleep and had to clench his jaw from saying anything. Jaebum tries not to imagine it but the images come anyway. 

 

Youngjae waking up, his smile slipping off his face as he recognizes something is off. He looks immediately to his side, expecting Jaebum to be there but Jaebum isn’t. Jaebum and all his stuff are gone. There isn’t a trace of the older, his side of the bed even smoothen out from wrinkles as if he hadn’t been there in the first place. Youngjae eyebrows draw together in confusion as he frantically looks around for any sign of Jaebum. And then he sees it. A note on the end table. With shaking hands, Youngjae picks it up and even though a part of him is saying don’t read it, his eyes dart side to side as he quickly reads the piece of paper. He reads the note over and over, shock and probably angry. Tears start to pool up in his beautiful eyes before spilling down his cheeks and soaking the note. Maybe he’ll blame himself or Jaebum or the world. He collapses as he cries his heart. He looks down at the tear-stained note and angrily starts to tear into pieces, just like his heart. He then calms down, wipes his tears, and throws the shreds away. Because Youngjae knew this was going to happen. He saw the approaching storm, the inevitable end. He is determined not to let this affect the group and he will pretend everything is fine. 

 

Jaebum’s tears wash down with the scorching water, his cries getting lost in the roar of the storm.

**Author's Note:**

> Have a good day!


End file.
